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No $13,000 bottles here

Oh, Chrissy Teigen. The Internet is mad at her again. She posted a question on her Twitter on Wednesday, "What's the most expensive thing you've eaten that you thought sucked?"

Then she answered her own question: "one time john and I were at a restaurant and the waiter recommended a nice Cabernet. We got the bill and it was 13,000 dollars. HOW DO U CASUALLY RECOMMEND THAT WINE. we didn't even finish it and it had been cleared!!!" People freaked the [Germanic epithet of your choosing] out, screaming that this was not relatable. Forgetting that she's a model, TV presenter and cookbook author with her own housewares line, married to one of the most famous and successful musicians of our time. Y'all, they rich. Really rich. I'm sorry to have to be the one to tell you this. This palaver ignores the important questions, however. What restaurant has a sommelier who recommends wines of that cost and doesn't give the patrons a heads up?! (Or the sommelier realized, as some of us not on Twitter do, that they are rich as hell and could swing it. But still, an "oh by the way" is not out of line!) When we can go to restaurants again, remember it is totally okay to tell your server or sommelier what price range you are most interested in. And look, not to be a snob, but if they didn't realize they were drinking that expensive of a wine, it was probably lost on them. I haven't drunk a ton of super expensive wines, which in my world and pocketbook is anything over $75. The last time I got to taste an $125 Argentinian malbec, it was during a tasting, and I was focusing on what I was drinking. (Was it delicious? Oh you bet. Will I ever buy it myself?.... Let me figure this house thing out first, and I'll let you know.)

As to what kind of wine costs that much, the San Francisco Chronicle's Esther Mobley speculates in her latest column here. Her best guess: "a first-growth Bordeaux from a very old, and very famous vintage." such as 1982, 1961, or 1945. You plunk an almost 40-year-old bottle of Bordeaux down in front of me. I'd like to think I'd notice. Which, if they'd been drinking beforehand and couldn't tell, that borders on the criminal.

Anyway, rich people gonna rich, is the takeaway. And the good thing about sticking to wines already in my cellar is no surprises on my credit card bill afterwards.

And I found a goodie this week! Here's a 2015 Chateau Lespault-Martillac Blanc that I’d bought from about a year and a half ago.

The winery is located in the Pessac-Leognan region in Bordeaux. Typical for the area, this is a blend of sauvignon blanc and sémillon (75%/25%). It’s gorgeous gold in the glass. The sauvignon blanc is very prominent on the nose and palate. On my first taste upon opening the bottle, I got a big burst of honeydew. It’s got a nice round mouthfeel. It felt like a shot of springtime on a chilly winter night. It’d be great with salads or veggie dishes. I’d definitely buy this again, and more from the same winemaker. And it sure as hell doesn't cost $13,000.

I think we can all learn something from this experience. Chrissy Teigen knows from bacon hash browns (which is one of the most delicious recipes I've ever made) but maybe don't let her pick the wine. (But thanks, Chrissy, for helping me triple my word count this week!) And your sommelier doesn't have to pay your credit card, so hold the line. Read your labels carefully, and we'll talk next week.

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